Frugalista Goes Cold Turkey

Like so many people, I fell off the wagon over the holidays.  There was temptation everywhere!

And while I certainly could be talking about food and drink, I'm not - I'm referring to my moratorium on clothes shopping for myself and a general commitment to consuming far less overall.

Of course I had to shop - buy gifts and goodies for people - so I was in and out of stores quite frequently before Christmas. I actually made out okay with the Christmas shopping, managing to get my shopping done with only ONE trip to the mall and only about four visits to the dollar store.  The rest of my purchases were made in individual stores which somehow makes me feel a little righteous.  It helped a lot to make lists and try to stick to them. Also, as a side-boast, we used only cash this Christmas for our shopping - Holla!

No, the trouble came afterwards.  Appetite whetted by the pre-Christmas consuming, bargains everywhere and a fat stack in my wallet courtesy of my mother-in-law, I went on a little bit of a shopping bender.  Some of the details are a little hazy, but I'm fairly certain I spent the whole holidays going in and out of stores - it's the MIL's preferred pastime, so there is a tendency to overindulge when she visits. And, you know, the holidays and mother-in-law visits are not generally regarded as times of low stress, so some of the retail activity was therapeutic in nature (at least that's what I told myself when I found myself alone and aimlessly wandering the concrete aisles of the local Walmart Supercentre at 10 pm on the 27th, and then again on the 28th, returning my purchases of the previous evening and buying more things.)

I really loved it at first, I mean I REVELLED in the deliciousness of the merchandise, the fondling, the choosing, the purchase, the bringing home of the bags and the ceremonial laying out of the goods.  I've really got a problem...  I actually leave tags on new clothes just so I can experience the "thrill of the new" when I bring the garment out of my closet to wear for the first time, and remind myself of the great deal I got when I look at the tag and see that red sale price handwritten in.  (Sometimes won't even throw them out; I'll keep the tags and receipts on my dresser to look at another time, which is maybe just a little obsessive!) But after a few days, it all began to feel like some painful compulsion, like the cigarette that the addict HAS to have, even when she has strep throat (yes, speaking from personal experience here; don't judge, okay?).

But the holidays ended, the MIL went back to Winnipeg, and life returned to normal.  Except the part where I didn't just stop shopping.  I squandered three precious hours at the mall last Sunday, and again yesterday I found myself a the dollar store with nothing really critical to buy.  I can't afford to be like this, and I hate to waste my time this way.

They say that the first thing you have to do when you have an addiction is admit that you are powerless. I say bullshit!  I have all kinds of power and I'm exercising that power by stopping the shopping right now.  And I'm not even going to indulge myself by sharing the details of my various (Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Amazing deals! I can show you the receipts!) Boxing Week purchases.

From now until Easter at least, there will be no clothing purchases, no unplanned household purchases, and no trips to the drugstore or the dollar store without a list.  The fat stack's gone now anyway.

The Frugalista Gets (Less) Crafty

There I was in the craft supply superstore with half an hour to spare, mind exploding with project and decorating ideas, not-quite-maxed-out credit card at the ready....

But wait. Hold yer horses! Another problem area for me, the craft supplies.  And all the decoupaged and and glitter-glued baggage that goes along with them. The mess, the pressure, the guilt, the clutter...  I mean, what happens to 90% of the stuff we buy at the craft supply place?  Probably some combination of unused, half used, and tossed in the garbage due to some horrible glue gun or sequin incident. And, whether made into something or still in the package, it's likely collecting dust and taking up precious storage or display space in my own home or someone else's.

Perhaps the biggest burden, though, is the sense of OBLIGATION that these items bring into a person's life.  ("What am I doing lying on the couch watching ripped-to-shreds Alex O'Loughlin catching bad guys while wearing nothing but a pair of cargo pants, when I could be spilling my creative juices all over the house? What a sloth I am.")

I probably have enough supplies on hand already (oh yes, I've had ambitions!) to make a thoughtful, handmade gift for everyone I've ever met.

So, last night I grabbed the two dozen candlewicks I needed (well not actually "needed", per se, but I figured if I purchased wicks then I could use the wax I have on hand to make the candles I plan to foist on some unsuspecting acquaintances or strangers this holiday season), plunked them down (along with my COUPON!) and escaped with only six dollars in damages.

But I can't go back; I'm helpless against the siren song of shiny beads, fluffy yarn, fabric glue, pom poms and wicker baskets.

Farewell and happy holidays to you, Michael's the Arts & Crafts Superstore - I won't be back until next spring at the earliest.  Not until my craft supply stash is cut at least in half and this season of "Hawaii 5-0" is over.

The Frugalista's Free-Stuff Frenzy

I spent an inordinate amount of time in a store today; just wandering around fondling and sniffing the merchandise, fraternizing with the clerks, coveting everything in sight.  It's much easier to be a frugalista when you just stay the hell out of stores.  On the plus side, all I needed was a greeting card and I had an ancient gift card in my wallet with a mystery balance (which turned out to be FIVE BUCKS- woot!), so I managed to pay only about three dollars for a seven dollar card (okay seven bucks for a greeting card?  Whaaat?)  So I'm calling the outing a success.

But I've found a new, dangerous outlet for my consumptive urges: free things.  Friends have been moving (another post for another day when I can write about it without dissolving into puddles of self-pitying tears) and they've been giving me things.  Big things and small things.  Like, furniture.  And hair conditioner.  And oatmeal. And olives in a great big jar shaped like a curvaceous woman's torso...

In addition to what I'm estimating at well over a hundred dollars worth of partially-used pantry and household items, over the last month we've acquired a queen-sized bed, a double bed, two corner shelves, two dining chairs, two dressers, a book-case, a tv stand and, if you go back another two months, a couch and chair set....  All free from friends.  It's stuff I like and I am so grateful for it; and it will always remind me of my three awesome girlfriends.  But...well...we didn't really get rid of anything; we just got more possessions.  And our house is pretty small. While there are some vague plans being made to discard a lumpy, stinky old bed or two, we really are just one more friend-move away from ending up on "Hoarders".

Damn!  Gotta find that balance.  The idea of not shopping had as much to do with learning to live with less as it did with not wasting money.  And here I am with no new pants (huzzah!) and ten "new" pieces of furniture I probably could have lived without (oops!).  But did I mention that we have Ovaltine now? And special Italian cheese that comes with its own built-in grater? And volumizing spray? And it was all FREE?

So blessed.  So unclear on the concept.

Frugalista Checks In

So it's been a little over a month since I vowed to forego any clothing purchases for six months.  Of course I was helped a little (okay, a lot) by a broken ankle, and a bulky walking cast that made it hard to get down the hall to the photocopier, never mind cruising the mall.

But the cast's been off for a while now, and I'm quite mobile again.  And I'm pleased to report that I continue to keep my promise to myself.  Yes, I hate all my pants, and no, I don't seem have quite the right top to wear half the time, and my pajamas are literally turning transparent in spots.

But whatever. I'm clean and comfortable (most of the time), and I haven't offended anyone with my wardrobe choices.  There have been times over the last five or so weeks that I've felt less than pulled-together, but I'm learning to live with that.  I always took so much care to not look like I was trying, so it's doubtful anyone's even noticed that I'm not wearing exactly perfect shoes, or that my purse doesn't match anything else I'm wearing... only me.  And I'm learning to live with the imperfection.

But meanwhile....I've had to start fighting (hard!) the urge to buy toiletries and housewares, or stock up on what's on sale at the grocery store.  Because clearly the object of this exercise wasn't to replace one vice with another - and oh how easy THAT is to do (says the woman who "accidentally" bought five tubes of toothpaste two weekends ago...)  So now my new thing is to really and truly use things up before buying more.  And that includes all the tiny hotel bottles and sample packets and 1/4 full jugs of whatever it was I lost interest in last year. And encouraging the menfolk to do the same.

And can we just stop for a moment and discuss shower gel?  From time to time I get a hankering to buy a bottle.  And my mother-in-law (Avon and Yves Rocher addict) always brings a bunch in her suitcase when she visits. (By "a bunch", I mean usually three or more bottles - and, no, the teenage boys aren't interested in lathering up with "Mandarin Mango Medley" or "Pomegranate and Peach Passion."  And then JTM and the lads brought me back the equivalent of a gallon from a recent trip to Portland (I sent a Bath & Bodyworks wish list with them, but forgot to write "or" between the various items - so I scored bottle after bottle of the good stuff...).

Now, I am a large woman, but I'm generally quite clean and I don't like to spend a lot of time hosing off, so I don't use a lot of product when I'm in the shower.  I probably go through one bottle of shower gel for every four that everyone else in the household uses.  I expect I will be completely through menopause before I need to replenish the lady-wash supply.

But, sidebar over. Back to the "not replacing things till you run out" thing. If you are trying this at home, please note that toilet paper should be an exception: it was more than a little awkward explaining to last Friday's ten dinner guests that, if they needed to wipe anything, they should use the "purse pack" of Kleenex on the bathroom window sill....

Make it stop!

So happy- nay, relieved - to be back in the office for the day. There has been far too much consumption over the last ten days, and I'm fed up (literally) and worn out! This year has been better than most others - there have been lots more walks (JTM has even been hitting the gym pre-dawn), a lot less meals out, and even a little crafting time with the MIL (Yes! We've been doing CRAFTS!), but it still all feels like too much.

Every year I seem to fall into the trap of using that time between Christmas and the end of holidays as some sort of dietary and consumer free-for-all - a last hurrah of spending and bingeing, before the rigor of broke-ness and New Years resolutions begins. And every year I end up with a lot of extra pounds and merchandise that I just didn't need!

This year, fortunately, the whole holiday consumption machine will grind to a halt a few days early as John's mom is going home on the 31st. I've got a bag set up in the corner of the bedroom for the "many happy returns" - stuff I bought on impulse during the Boxing Week sales and will return on Jan 2, and I'm primed to hit the gym and get back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon ASAP. This is the first year that I feel like I will be working to get back to something, rather than trying to start something. I've made great progress this past year on the exercise and weight loss front (38 pounds down, only 25 to go!), so as the holidays wind down and 2010 arrives, I'll just be falling back into old habits rather than trying to develop new ones. What a great place to be!