Friday, December 17, 2010

Filling the Hole

Laid Off - Day 35

One of the things that really surprised me after I was laid off - because I honestly had never given it much thought before - was the lack of calls and emails from my former coworkers -  Not every single one, but most of them - people I saw and spoke with every single weekday -  just completely disappeared from my life a couple of Wednesdays ago, without so much as a "good luck" or "take care".  I mean, I guess I could have done the walk of shame through the building saying goodbye to everyone - there was no security guard escorting me off the premises or anything - but I guess I didn't think I needed to - thought they'd still be in my life

Now maybe there is a lot of survivor guilt, or maybe (eeps!) they were glad to see me go.  But most likely they all just went on without skipping a beat.  Because for them, I only existed in their lives between Monday and Friday, and when I wasn't there, the space I took up in their lives just closed over or filled up with the next person.

It's a little lonely here at home sometimes, and the quiet was nearly deafening the first week or so, but really I'm not missing my workday people, or my workplace that much at all anymore. And for someone who others would say is very, very sociable, I really do dig spending hours hearing nothing but the courtyard fountain and the dog scratching himself.  I guess my hole is closing over too!

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